Time Machine To Now
by Dajypop
Summary: Thinking back on everything, he realized the biggest problem with he and Carver's relationship; neither of them said 'I love you' enough.


**Title:** Time Machine To Now  
 **Author:** Daisy  
 **Fandom:** Dragon Age  
 **Setting:** Hawke Estate  
 **Pairing:** Anders/Ethan Hawke  
 **Characters:** Ethan Hawke, Carver Hawke  
 **Genre:** Family/Hurt/Comfort  
 **Rating:** K  
 **Chapters:** 1/1  
 **Word Count:** 623  
 **Type of Work:** One-shot  
 **Status:** Complete  
 **Warnings:** Warden!Carver, Sad Memories, Vent  
 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except Ethan Hawke.  
 **Summary** Thinking back on everything, he realized the biggest problem with he and Carver's relationship; neither of them said 'I love you' enough.

 **AN:** Inspired by my own family and some family that I made on my own. Who better to explain family issues than the Hawkes, am I right?

 **Time Machine To Now** ****

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When they were kids, everything was different. Carver and Bethany looked at him like he was some Divine Being, always running to him when they needed something. They hadn't been sparce, back then, the 'I love you's.

Sometimes, when Ethan Hawke would look back on the last two years, all he wanted to do was cry. And when the floodgates opened, he knew the safest place in Kirkwall was in Anders' arms. He would whisper sweet things into his ears, kiss his tears away, and hold him, listen to him as he lamented his siblings and if he'd ever made the right call with them. It was reassuring to think that the elder mage thought him to be right in his actions, but it still stood for debate, in his mind.

At age three, he remembered a little Carver tottering to him, still getting used to the different speeds his legs could take him at, holding up a scribble that was supposed to say 'I love you.'

At age five, Carver was much more adept at using his legs, but when he hit the ground too hard, he'd always run to Ethan to have his ankles and knees rubbed.

At age eight, Carver would still crawl into his bed when he was scared that demons prowled the night and hid under his bed.

When Carver had turned ten, Ethan took him into the woods for the first time, and told him _shh, watch this_ before setting an unknowing giant spider on fire. Bethany had followed, and giggled her head off as the thing chased the three of them home.

Age fourteen had been when the 'I love you, brother's had stopped, when the two of them had fought over something stupid and a rivalry really began to grow. Malcolm spent more time with Ethan and Bethany than their lone non-mage child, and between that, this and the other, the Hawke brothers began to grow apart.

And now, they truly were far from each other in every sense of the word. He only hoped that Carver had found the purpose to his life he sought with the Wardens, he even prayed to the Maker that he was happy. Sure, he didn't believe, but that didn't mean that some invisible man in the Fade couldn't hear his pleas, right?

"So… Tell me, rosehip," Anders began one night after listening to his spiel once more, "What _was_ the stupid argument you two had?" His hand carded through the silky locks at the base of Ethan's skull, and it seemed to lull the truth out of him.

"I've never told anyone this before," Ethan began with a soft, mirthless chuckle and a watery smile, "But it really was _stupid_. He had this friend, Peaches, and… I guess he liked her, or something, but she only showed interest in me. Well, you know my preferences… She didn't take it well, and her and Carver didn't speak for over a year because of it. He blamed me for all of his problems, after that, and… I guess he reinforced his stay in my shadow because of it. He refused to think that, maybe, he could make something for himself without me…"

"And now he's without you, do you think he's finally learned he's just as capable?" Always the voice of reason… Or was that Justice?

"Maker's breath, I hope so." Came the soft reply as he nestled his forehead a bit closer to the other's chest. "I really do."

"What would you tell him, today, if you had the chance?" Anders asked into his hairline, kissing it gently.

"That I love him, and I'm proud of him, no matter what he's done."

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 **AN:** Welp… There we have it. A bit more heartbreaking than I intended, but… Whoops?


End file.
